Welcome to "MEDIOCRELAND"

Where your friends are ANYONE WHO ISN'T ACTIVELY HARMING YOU
and COMMUTING is the only TRAVEL you'll be doing
and doing the crossword on your lunch break is your ONLY INTELLECTUAL PURSUIT
and BEAUTY is sparkling clean cutlery
and TRUE LOVE is bussing home alone smelling of somebody else's sweat

Stay in school kids or you'll be here for a long time.