look at me and tell me if you've known me before

there are three issues i would like to address, being: seizures, actors, and the transhumanist project.
to my mind these are closely linked, seizures being not inherently terrifying but a kind of physical metaphor for something worse. one of my co-workers had a seizure one morning, like 60 seconds after we got out of her car (she gave me a lift that day). and i was scared and everything, but it's just medical, just blood and convulsions which are pretty organic and non-threatening. i would be scared to have a seizure myself, but i've had a lot of memory loss from drinking which i guess is not that different, so maybe it would suit my repertoire.
then actors. you know that factoid that people throw around about the south american tribe who won't have their picture taken because they believe that it damages their souls or something? probably misquoted, but that's in the spirit of these things (these vaguely racist trivia about 'lost tribes'). a similar level of suspicion operates in my mind regarding actors, possibly in a similar vein (i don't like having my picture taken either, but that's because i have trouble recognising myself). maybe it is my congenital inability to lie, but if someone is an actor, how do you know if they are acting or not? a bad actor is ok, but what if they were really good, just acting at you all the time. and the recurrent sense that a person you meet has appeared to you before under a different name, in a different role, maybe several times.
which brings me to the transhumanists. i wrote about them for school a while ago, twice, and hopefully again soon. i can't generalise about the entire movement, but a significant number of them would consider it theoretically desirable to take someone who is dead, scan their brain with like an electron microscope or whatever, then reproduce the entire system on a computer. fucking terrible idea.
you see now right? i'm afraid that any rupture of consciousness, real or perceived, could be permanent. like a dead man on a hard drive.